


Won't Question Why

by Inane_Rational



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-16
Updated: 2011-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:44:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inane_Rational/pseuds/Inane_Rational
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwaine just wants to be near again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Question Why

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 4.07. Coda to 4.07. Inspired by Gwaine/Merlin comments for this episode. Un-beta'd.

Gwaine watches Merlin walk across the courtyard, shoulders slumped and weighted with the news of Gaius’s betrayal. He knows how much Merlin loves Gaius like a father. Gwaine knows how it is to miss a father. But for Merlin it is now doubly so.

He’s not sure he has the right to comfort Merlin. Gwaine was the one to have stepped away from what they had. He had gotten jealous and resentful of being left out, watching Merlin’s relationship with Arthur and being the one held at arms-length. Gwaine didn’t know what it was that Merlin had with Arthur. But he could feel how…’special’ is the first word that comes to mind.

He can’t compete with that.

So he stepped away, followed by Merlin’s hurt, but understanding gaze. If he was hurt by Merlin’s resignation as he left him alone in his quarters that afternoon, Gwaine refused to acknowledge it. Instead he maintained an appropriate distance and talks over himself, rambled about useless facts, observations, and even women’s gossip. It clutters his mind, mouth and heart—nothing to think, nothing to speak, and nothing to feel.

But to see Merlin in pain like so…

He had knocked and found Merlin nowhere to be found, was tempted to leave but resolved to sit and wait. There’s a small ball on a table that keeps him preoccupied enough from stepping away again.

Gwaine finds he isn’t prepared to see Merlin again. Alone. No excuse to ramble away.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asks coldly.

“Got bored of playing soldiers.” He hesitates at the lie, finding it to be useless. “And I thought I’d come and see how you were?”

 _Tell me_ , he thinks to himself.

“I’m busy.”

Gwaine expects it. As close as he and Merlin were, he had always thought that Merlin was withholding a secret from him. He can feel it’s not a simple thing. My father was a noble, and I hope he was not like any of the others when I was growing up. I’m a knight of Camelot, but sometimes I feel the role is too loose upon me. I want you by my side, will you allow me to be by yours?

“Probably don’t need my help then.” Gwaine isn’t trying to guilt Merlin. He’s pleading. _Please_.

When Merlin asks for his help, he jumps at the chance to stand near like before. The small touch of fingers as he’s asked to smell the iron ore is a thrum of static in his fingers. It revives Gwaine, even against Merlin’s coldness when he asks more questions. Gwaine will help search for Gaius. He’ll be a Knight of Camelot for Merlin. He’ll believe in Merlin’s words over a high-status noble.

He’ll love him, and he won’t question why.


End file.
